Why you shouldn’t want it all

posted in: Family, Migraine, Words | 23

You know what? We are constantly bombarded with images. Hollywood, big screen, small screen, magazines. Instagram. Facebook. Our lives are more transparent than ever, but with that transparency, have we made ourselves any happier?

Forget competing with, or keeping up with the Joneses, or that mother that you see dashing in and out of the classroom dropping her kids off. Her makeup is always perfect, she prances through the playground in 3 inch heels and her kids only eat organic healthfood, packed in those adorable bento boxes.

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Problem is, we carry her around in our pockets. On our phones, in our social media, on our computer screens, and in our faces. But do you know what? We are all that person to someone else.

That bears repeating. We are ALL that person to someone else.

My reality is not your reality.

We are all icebergs floating around in our worlds. We choose what we show, the same as we wear clean clothes and brush our hair before going out in public. However what isn’t seen is the hard work that may go into presenting that image to the world. The hidden pain, the tears, the arguments, the baked beans on toast because there’s no way to make the money for the week stretch any further.

So, while I’m carefully cropping out the mess and showing you the beautiful things that I craft, here’s some of the what you won’t see.

Hours of unpicking when a quilting pattern doesn’t work. Points that don’t match, on the second or third try. The state of my shower, my kitchen or alternatively my laundry. Dust bunnies the size of labradors hiding behind most of the furniture. The tears and frustration of some severe health and other issues that my eldest child is facing down, and feeling that I’m carrying his load on my shoulders. Hours of wasted time spent laying on my bed, the lounge or even slumped at the kitchen table without enough energy to get up and move. The painful days and months it took for the doctors to get a handle on my medication and get me back on my feet and functioning at any level.

But I don’t hide all these things from you because I don’t want you to see them. As if they are somehow shameful or should be avoided.

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I know that you are ALL battling your own fights. Bravely, the best way that you can. You don’t need me to show you how to be brave. How to stand up, or if necessary, just keep crawling forward.

I figure you come here to escape from those problems. To see some beauty, some inspiration. To share ideas, to learn some new things, to encourage one another in our turn.

Please feel free to make yourselves comfortable. Take off your shoes, curl up on the lounge, don’t worry about a coaster. Help yourself to a coffee, in fact you can make one for me while you’re over there. The chocolate biscuits are in the pantry.

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So, why shouldn’t you want it all?

Because “it all” includes my pain and sorrow, as well as my joys and success? No. Because what you already have is enough. YOU ARE ENOUGH. Spend more time focussed on the joy that is in your life now, and less time wondering why your life doesn’t look like your favourite Instagram account. Spend more time loving what is around you right now. Your happiness will increase a hundred times faster than if you HAD that life. Because it’s all just empty air without the parts that make you real. Without what makes YOU.

Please share with us one thing today that is giving you joy!

Happy Crafting - Cassie.

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23 Responses

  1. Janine

    What a great post, thank you! One joy today is looking forward to Saturday and meeting up with some lovely IG ladies at the Stitches and Craft show! And another one is finally this cough is on the mend!!

    • Cassandra

      So glad to hear you’re finally kicking that cough to the kerb!! I look forward to catching up with you Saturday 😀

  2. cindi

    WOW. I really needed to read this today. It is so easy to feel less than when you see all the pics on ig with perfect settings, clean sewing rooms and over the top quilting. I am enough and where i am in my quilt journey is where I’m supposed to be. Thank you for reminding me to be happy in my own skin, imperfect as it may be.

    • Cassandra

      I love your way of putting it Cindi – where I am is where I’m supposed to be. Fantastic way to keep ourselves grounded!

  3. Michele Wyers

    Thank you so much for this post Cass. It was just what I needed today. You are so right,we do look at others & envy them because they’re everything that we’re not. We all have limitations in some way ,some more obvious than others. I can relate to the pain & suffering you endure with your own health limitations. I am going to put the words ” I am enough ” on my little blackboard above the kettle & every time I make a cuppa (& that’s a lot) I will see it & remind myself that I’m doing the best that I can.

    • Cassandra

      Because we compare ourselves so much, I think the idea of a reminder like that is a great idea! We are enough!

  4. Fiona

    I’m so happy to hear that you are alive and well-ish after your appointment on Monday. I’ve learnt the hard way to love each day at a time. Rarely my plans work out as my health is too inpredictable. I slipped a disc in my neck Monday/Tuesday that left with with a severe migraine & uncontrollable vomitting all last night. Today I am grateful that it has settled enough that I might actually be able to go grocery shopping & buy some food. I hope you are taking good care of your labradors as well as your puppies Coco & Willow. I can relate to the shower but what about your oven? Is it as feral as mine??? Love you!! xoxo

    • Cassandra

      The oven is pretty good, we don’t use it as much as we might! Glad to hear that the pain has settled down a bit, you need to take it easier!

      • Fiona

        Yes Mum. ps how many spelling mistakes in my first comment?!?! So ashamed!!

  5. Lyn

    The grass will always be greener on the other side……BUT I love my grass…. Maybe we need a #dustbunnies feed.

    • Cassandra

      I think a #dustbunnies feed would be awesome!! I’m glad you love your grass, it’s a good feeling 🙂

  6. Michelle

    Thanks for that – it’s so true! Today I’m thankful for the autumn sunshine and my health.

    • Cassandra

      Thankyou for sharing Michelle. There is just some fabulous quality about Autumn sunshine that I love!

  7. Annabel

    I really loved this post and glad I made the time to pop back and read it after your post on IG about it. It really is so true what you said that we are all that person to someone. Comparison has been my thief of joy so much but I realised that what I have and what I AM is enough. Today I feel grateful for your words and reminders to believe in myself. Thankyou 🙂

    • Cassandra

      Annabel, thankyou so much for making the time to read and comment. I’m just really glad that these words helped you today. I believe in you too!

  8. Norma

    My source of joy today was an unexpected gift in the mail from a sweet sister-friend. Those little acts of random kindness are the best! Growing up years were tough so I really work at being positive. (Especially on my bad days!) I try to be a good gifter when I can, but decided to quit keeping count and trying to match up every gift that I was given! Sewing has taught me the value of a handmade gift…all the time, effort and love that goes into it! I never thought about how much someone would be thinking about another person and how they would react when they received it. Also the joy of having someone tell me they still love the quilt I gave them as a child! Wow!

  9. Jess @ Scrappy n Happy

    So well written Cass. I am so happy that I am in a position to homeschool my kids and take away some of their anxiety so that they can do some learning. And they are happier than they have been in a long time.

  10. Mary

    I am blessed to be able to support myself while I look for a new position and I have many friends who are supportive. I don’t want it all as I know when I see someone I’m seeing the outside and too often I compared that to my internal self. I have challenges in my life yet I know God is with me. I will pray for you and your family.

    • Cassandra

      Thankyou for your encouraging words Mary. You are quite right – we are comparing their “outside” with our “insides”.

  11. Nessa

    Today I am grateful for coming home from work and having a meal cooked and ready for me. I remember what it was like when I had to ‘do it all’ and it was tiring! Sharing the domestic jobs makes my life so much more relaxing and rewarding than before, and I know I am fortunate in deed.

    • Cassandra

      It’s really hard when we are expected to do everything. Things work much smoother and happier when everyone pitches in 🙂

  12. Nadine

    I love reading your blog . At this time of year we have a lot of family birthday , our 3 kids are each 10 days apart, a granddaughter has one in that time to along with mothers day . So there is lots of time spent together with cakes & presents .Love it so much & extremely grateful

    • Cassandra

      Thankyou so much for your comment Nadine. It certainly makes ME happy to know that others enjoy reading what I write! Sounds like you are having lots of lovely family time right now.

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